As you continue to invest in your resilience, let us revisit the rest of Rick Hanson’s suggestions.
3 REGULATING:
Stay calm by learning to manage your emotional states. With each extension of the lockdown it is but natural to feel frustration and anger. With each report of the toll that Covid-19 is taking on our fellow beings, it is only human to feel anxiety. Regular practice of Yoga, Tai Chi and mindfulness based practices help you bring your emotional state back to baseline and equilibrium. Activate your parasympathetic nervous system. It calms you.
Awaken motivationby engaging in activities that excite and enthuse you. Being homebound allows you to explore goals you would not make the time for: picking up the guitar that has been silent for too long; dancing to your favorite videos for exercise; trying out new recipes to expand your culinary skills; taking tutorials online to improve your Microsoft Office skills; or dedicating time for writing the book you want to publish. Imagine yourself in the future with your goal accomplished. Activate the motivational circuitry in your brain that releases dopamine in anticipation of the reward. It gives you a natural ‘high’.
Strengthen intimacyby reaching out to family and friends via phone, tablet and computer apps. We are linking even more than before without being in each other’s physical presence. We are forced to be still, stay home and learn to ‘be’ with ourselves and with others. The constant drive to ‘do’ is being slowly and surely taken down. You awaken the vagus nerve in the brain that will improve your vagal tone index as you make stronger social connections and deal with negativity better.
4 RELATING:
Form interpersonal courageby learning to speak up for yourself in a relationship. With the stay-at-home order it becomes even more necessary to draw boundaries with each other. Honor yourself and also learn to be flexible. If it means you have to conduct your virtual class by setting up your ‘office’ in your bathroom, and have to request your family to not disturb you, so be it. Be ready to listen, to share your own experience (thoughts and feelings), and to also shift into problem solving mode. Grow as a person by polishing the various facets of your communication styles. Now is your chance to relate differently with others.
Dare to aspire. Love, work and play are the areas where your dreams lie. Think about what you enjoy, are good at and value highly. Other people influence your ability to fulfill your dream. Communicate clearly the ‘why’ of your dream, despite these challenging times. If music makes your heart sing and singing is your forte, find voice lessons online. If you wish to make a career change and are looking to return to school, break out your GRE books. This ‘down time’ is that unanticipated gift you have received. Be willing to fail to succeed.
Practice generosity by giving of your time and resources to others. It is easy to go within your shell when you have been ordered to shelter in place. If the neighborhood senior center is short on face masks, learn how to sew them and donate them. Begin to heal torn relationships by exercising forgiveness, both for the other and yourself if you share responsibility. Examine where the tears are and what needs fixing. It is both humbling and unbelievably liberating.
Go to Making Self-Regulation Easy and Relating to Others to revisit why you would engage in these behaviors.
You will find your ability to bounce back from this pandemic crisis higher than could imagine. Grow your resilience!