We first reacted with doubt and disbelief, followed by natural fear and anxiety. As we get our bearings around our ‘new normal’ and commit to best safe practices, we can do one more thing. We can resolve to increase our resilience. This is our insurance. Bounce back higher than before! At this time of grave uncertainty, constant flow of somber information, how are you building your resilience? Rick Hanson’s methods can be applied here aptly.
- RECOGNIZING: Look within.
Exercise Self-Compassion by committing to your own wellbeing first. You are then poised to meet others’ needs. You are needed, perhaps on the front lines as medical providers, as ancillary support, as a family member meeting an elder’s needs from afar, or as a work-from-home parent caring for your infant and toddler simultaneously.
Practice Mindfulness by staying in the present moment without judgement. This is very hard to do. The situation does not lend itself easily to non-judgment. You may be distressed because your grandfather just passed away in isolation and you cannot attend his funeral. Honor your initial emotional reactions, pause, and then move into mindfulness before taking action. It trains you to be responsive to be better able to solve problems.
Keep Learning to develop your inner strengths while you are homebound and have this unexpected gift of time. Pick any top strength to practice using it today (creativity, communication, courage, perseverance and so on). If you focus on improving yourself, the firing neurons wire together to form strong, durable, positive neural pathways in your brain. Take the Values in Action Survey and get working on your strengths. - RESOURCING: Access your assets.
Cultivate Grit. With tenacity and stamina you also breed a strong sense of personal agency (even when the world acts upon you, you are able to act on the world). If you have been furloughed and have no income coming in, you teach yourself new ways of earning an income, or take on projects you have been putting off and tackle them with dedicated focus. Take the Grit Scale to identify the areas you would like to work on.
Rehearse Gratitude for your situation or for the people around you, making others feel good and “strengthening your immune system”. People coming out on balconies to applaud our brave medical workers are prime examples. Thank your grocery clerk for showing up at work to provide an essential service. Thank the delivery person for braving exposure by shopping for you. Create homemade masks and donate to neighbors. Find reasons to acknowledge others.
Build Confidence by turning up the volume on the voice of the ‘Inner Nurturer’ that comforts you. Your boss wants you to lead a virtual meeting while your toddler is having a tantrum downstairs. You hear the voice in your head harshly criticizing you for not being a good mother or an efficient leader. Silence the ‘Inner Critic’ that serves no useful purpose other than being an old habit that dies hard. You make the decision to lead the meeting knowing that your child is in good hands and will calm down. You stay poised and proceed with self-assurance.
To refresh your memory of why you would engage in these behaviors, go to
Laying Bricks of Self-Acknowledgement and Gathering Resources.
Optimize your ‘down time’. We are in this together and we will come out of it stronger than before!