Rick Hanson uses the acronym HEAL to explain planting positivity in our lives.
1) HAVE: a positive experience
* Notice what is around you that is obviously positive. Sitting across from a friend sipping a hot cup of tea.
* If not, create a positive experience. Notice what is in the foreground of your mind. You can still hear your laughter as you chatted together last week.
* Focus on what is in the background of your mind. She has been a good friend to you over the years and you feel so loved and grateful.
2) ENRICH: the experience
* Magnify the current or past experience. Go beyond the fleeting moment and linger on it for 5 – 10 seconds longer. Heighten your senses. Feel the warmth of the teacup. Listen to the tone of your voices. Breathe in the aroma of the tea. Taste the subtle hint of ginger. See your friend’s face light up with a smile. The entire experience is amplified; a vivid reflection of the warmth of your connection.
3) ABSORB: the experience fully
* Let the experience percolate through and sink into your core. Notice how your breath comes and goes; how your blood courses smoothly through your veins and arteries.
* You sink into the luxury of feeling your body melt and yield to gravity. You are anchoring the memory of being in the loving presence of a friend.
4) LINK: a negative experience with the positive experience
* As you focus on the positive, note a negative experience lurking in the background. Times when you had felt rejected by others in a group. You recall the loneliness and sadness attached to that. Now, know that you are present in a situation of inclusion, of being liked and reciprocating it. It is gratifying.
You are overwriting the negative with a positive experience. Eventually, you begin to replace it fully. You may even have a neutral sense of exclusion and immediately be able to retrieve the positive sense of inclusion to switch to. You are no longer daunted by negative experiences. You are planting positivity.
Step 1 is planting the seeds of positivity. Steps 2 and 3 are tending to them by watering and providing nutrient rich soil. Without the latter two the first step is wasted. We make the mistake of quickly skimming over step one and totally skipping steps two and three. For positivity to take root, it is important we learn to practice all three steps repeatedly.
The fourth step is a challenge, yes. It too can be learned and mastered. It is about the weeds that grow in your garden. They have to be pulled and replaced with flowers. By and by, there will be no room for weeds as the garden flourishes.
As Hanson says, “Step 1 activates a positive mental state, and steps 2, 3, and 4 install it in your brain.” Happy gardening!