Category: Life Work Flourishing Coaching Blog

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Making Self-Regulation Easy

Hanson suggests 4 ways of meeting your need of wellbeing:
RECOGNIZING | RESOURCING | REGULATING | RELATING 

Step 3: Regulating:

  • Calm:

    Managing your own emotional state is the first step. When you are aroused or anxious your sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is in overdrive.  This is useful in an emergency but harmful in day to day life.  It spikes your vital signs (blood pressure and heartrate).  It releases the stress hormone cortisol.  When you are calm and at ease, your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) maintains these same vital signs in balance.  Create a calm ‘baseline’ for yourself. After a stressful event you will return to your ‘normal’ state fairly quickly.  
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Gathering Resources

Rick Hanson’s suggested ways of meeting your needs of wellbeing:  
RECOGNIZING | RESOURCING | REGULATING | RELATING 

Step 2: Resourcing 
              Gathering your resources to build resilience.

  • Grit: 

    Build qualities of personal agency, resolve, patience and persistence.

    Agency is your ability to act and make conscious choices. The world may act upon you, but you can choose how you respond to it.  Victor Frankl says, “The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” 
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Laying Bricks of Self-Acknowledgement

“With neurons firing 5 to 50 times a second you can build resilience and wellbeing several times a day.” It is called working the brain muscle.
Rick Hanson with his son Forrest Hanson describes 4 ways to meet our needs of wellbeing in his book ‘Resilient’. 

Recognizing | Resourcing | Regulating | Relating

It does not matter how successful, accomplished, or adept you are.  You have to lay a strong mental foundation to build a sturdy structure that will withstand the jolts of life.  Begin by laying bricks of self-acknowledgement first. 

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Planting the Positive

Rick Hanson uses the acronym HEAL to explain planting positivity in our lives. 

1)      HAVE: a positive experience

* Notice what is around you that is obviously positive.  Sitting across from a friend sipping a hot cup of tea. 
* If not, create a positive experience.  Notice what is in the foreground of your mind.  You can still hear your laughter as you chatted together last week. 
* Focus on what is in the background of your mind.  She has been a good friend to you over the years and you feel so loved and grateful.   

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Shifting Gears in the Brain

AVOIDANCE | APPROACH | ATTACHMENT.  In the previous newsletter you were introduced to the 3 operating systems in your brain.  You know you have the choice to decide which one you wish to use at any given time.   

1)  Avoidance:
Your boss calls a sudden meeting with you within the hour. Your heart starts to pound about the implications of being summoned abruptly.  It is about the major project you had just submitted. 

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Offset our Natural Bias

“Eat lunch today;don’t be lunch today”:  it has been the cardinal rule of the wild.  Survival comes first.  Psychologist Rick Hanson  in his book ‘Hardwiring Happiness’ goes on to outline how we grew into beings with a Negativity Bias. 

“The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones”.  It has been laced into our DNA since the Stone Age to react to negative experiences so as to avoid danger and pain.  Safety was our primary need.    

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Broaden & Build

Barbara Fredrickson gives us core, promising truths about Positivity:

1       It feels good.

An uplifting moment of goodness, however fleeting and transient, is always welcome.  The ‘feel good chemical’ dopamine is being released in the brain and we are flooded with joy. 

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