LIFE AREAS
PHYSICAL | EMOTIONAL | INTELLECTUAL | SPIRITUAL | SOCIAL | FAMILY |
WORK | FINANCIAL | RECREATIONAL | HOME/OFFICE ENVIRONMENT | OVERALL
Sitting outside Gate C at Tampa International airport offered a kaleidoscope of rich emotions of people passing by. Apprehensive travelers rushed to find their way to airsides or baggage claim. An elderly gentleman and his wife looking purposeful navigated their way gently leading each other. Two animated friends chatted freely as they maneuvered their way with ease and poise.
A large, raucous and happy family received relatives huddling with warm embraces and welcome greetings, creating quite a stir. There was a mother waving and blowing kisses to her adult daughter who was pushing a stroller, admonishing and nudging her distracted husband “Say goodbye, she’s leaving!”
A little 6 year old girl sobbed openly with her lower lip quivering furiously as her frantic mother led her on to the shuttle. The mother looked stricken with concern, desperately motioning to the grandmother they were leaving behind, “She’s crying” she signaled. It was a moving tableau. What a colorful and full array of emotions unfurled reminding me of our humanness.
In sharp contrast there were some folks dressed in business casual, carrying briefcases, speaking softly into microphones with somber intensity as they paced. It was hard to decipher if they liked what they did or not. The stoic, I-take-myself-seriously professionals, who were on seemingly work related calls, were devoid of emotion: no inflection in tone, no frown, no smile or shift in voice as they ended the call, nothing. Nothing cracked the placid façade. It was a little startling and frankly alarming to watch.
What happens to us when we don our work hat? Do we adopt a robotic persona that we believe we have to have; otherwise no one would take us seriously? Many professionals have a flawed belief that they have to leave their emotions behind at home or at the door in order to work efficiently. They expect others to the do the same. The misguided premise is that emotions have no place in the workplace. Ironically, ignoring or suppressing our feelings takes energy and leaves us enervated at the end of the day. Not to mention, we shortchange ourselves by showing up at work with an integral part of our ‘self’ missing.
By ignoring our feelings we lack the social skills to relate to others, we become stilted in our communications and our work performance is compromised. Nobody is talking about walking into work with our raw emotions bleeding all over the Berber carpet, ceramic tile or mahogany desk. That would be ludicrous, not to mention messy. Being in touch with our own emotions requires modulating them appropriately as well. It allows us to be more attuned to others and hence better equipped to deal with our managers, colleagues, peers, subordinates and employees. We are perceived as human and hence relatable. It helps build trust and also opens doors to more open and candid communication in the workplace. This in turn facilitates higher productivity and goal achievement.
Daniel Goleman author of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ wrote in Harvard Business Review in 1996 that he considers cognitive skills (IQ) and technical skills as ‘entry-level requirements’ for executive positions whereas ‘EQ is the sine qua non of leadership’ (indispensable ingredient). He identified certain ingredients that determine emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. Self-awareness is a deep understanding of our strengths, weaknesses, and the ability to identify our emotions. Self-regulation is the skill to moderate our impulses and channel thoughts and feelings in positive ways. Good news is that we are talking about self-awareness and self-regulation going hand in hand, working in tandem
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In order to show up smarter in our heads and polish our intellect, it is necessary to first know our hearts and be intimate with our feelings. We understand our motives, become empathetic to others and respond far more effectively. Only then can we truly shine in life. It is hands down a win-win situation. So go ahead, do a self-check. You will feel better.
~ Sushama Kirtikar, October 23, 2015
Related article: http://positivesharing.com/2007/02/the-feel-factor-why-no-workplace-can-afford-to-ignore-emotions/