A client recently started her coaching engagement with a declaration that her big vision, her North Star had shifted. Life circumstances had prompted this. Instead of climbing the corporate ladder as she had done for years, she now wanted to focus on global climate change issues and being present for her family, as a young parent. Following her purpose in life and personal fulfillment were her new areas of passion. This was not going to be an easy passage as the former was all she had known her adult life. It had brought her immense joy and meaning thus far. No more. It wasn’t as fulfilling anymore.
“We don’t like changing our minds; it’s uncomfortable, it can create a lot of cognitive dissonance, and it takes a lot of hard work”, says Maya Shankar, cognitive scientist, in her podcast ‘A Slight Change of Plans’ (Jan 12, 2023). She interviews Adam Grant, psychologist, author of Think Again. He urges us to rethink our beliefs and not get caught in the web of over confidence. “Your confidence rises faster than your competence and pretty soon you are trapped on the summit of Mt. Stupid” says Grant. When your confidence is below your competence, you work harder, smarter, listen to others to fill in gaps of knowledge, and think things through.
There is value in self-doubt that goes unrecognized these days. It does not have to be full blown Impostor Syndrome. It is that gentle pause, that listening to your intuition that says “I may be off course right now, either because my priorities have moved, or my life circumstances have altered, or I have grown, and now I am seeing the world through a fresh lens.” High achievers may actually succeed because of their self-doubt, not despite it. Humility tempers complacence. The message is to cultivate an open mind.
Rethinking our beliefs is a huge challenge as it defies our self-image. Holding both the old self and the newly evolving self together as your current reality, requires composure and level-headedness. The outcome however can be transformative. When you realign your North Star to your new perspectives and emerging values you reintroduce zest, hope and impetus, with a new pep in your step.
The coachee up above was willing to take on the huge challenge of changing course midway. When you look at the four dimensions of Ikigai, she had been focused on the dimensions of her Profession and Vocation that had sparked a fire within her until now. After mindful meditation and quiet self-reflection she had recognized the shift. Her Polaris had moved. Now she was setting sights on the other two dimensions of Mission and Passion which had emerged organically for her. She was recalibrating her compass bearings on the map towards her Ikigai: that sweet spot of a life worth living.
If you feel a nudge to alter your course ever so slightly, don’t be alarmed that you are not staying true to your earlier vision and commitment. Recognize the ‘ask’ of your current reality and make the bold move. Shift your gaze. “People who feel derailed, actually end up getting happier,” proposes Adam Grant.