Author: sushamak@verizon.net

I feel compelled to repost this article I had written back in December 2016.  Of late I have noticed a surge of  the ‘Be Good’ Mindset in my coaching sessions.  So once again I am bringing to the forefront this very important distinction. 

Most of us walk around with what is known as the ‘Be Good’ mindset.  We believe we have to be good at something: an activity, job, career or profession. We also yearn to be good as somebody: spouse, parent, relative, employee, or leader.  It does not matter what life area or life role we look at, we tell ourselves we have to be good at it. 

Continue reading “To ‘Be Good’ or ‘Not’… ‘Get Better’ instead”

Continue reading “Tempering Higher Strengths”

Dr. Neal Mayerson, Founder & Chairman of the VIA Institute on Character, talks about the towing of character strengths.  The towing principle refers to using an already well established strength to boost another less developed strength by towing it along like a tugboat. The VIA Institute refers to this phenomenon in which the expression of one strength naturally elicits the expression of other strengths as “the towing principle” or “virtuous circle.”

Continue reading “Towing Lesser Strengths”

Our highest strengths tend to span the top five of the 24 VIA character strengths, and are aptly called Signature Strengths. Life circumstances may cause them to move up or down in rank, but for the most part they represent who we are at our very core.  They energize us, are easy to engage, and essential to our identity.  They do not exact effort or forethought, as they are second nature to us.  It is to our benefit to apply these regularly and keep polishing them.  Not only do they enhance our personal wellbeing, they also impact our social and work relationships, and extend our influence to the community.

Continue reading “Scaffolding your Strengths”

Overuse of the Strength of Kindness

Our toddler grandson was being toilet-trained during a visit to our home this summer.  As he was heading to the bathroom he asked me, “Do you have raisins?”  I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to respond to this query.  Seeing my bewildered look, I was informed that he was to be rewarded with either one or two raisins depending on the success of the outcome.  I raised my eyebrows and smiled indulgently.  “Yes, I have raisins.”  Within minutes he returned with his tiny palm outstretched. “Aji, please give me two raisins,” he smiled gleefully and triumphantly. 
 
Happily I dug into the raisin box and scooped out a handful to deposit them into his hand.  “No, you have to give me two only.  You gave me too many.”  He diligently counted them, and handed back the extra raisins.  I marveled at how principled he was.  I also recognized that he was perfectly content with the reward he had received.  The two raisins reassured him that he was on the right track and he felt acknowledged and rewarded. They were enough.  He did not desire more just because they were freely available.  More is not always better.

Continue reading “Too Many Raisins”

The Virtue of Wisdom II

‘Wisdom describes strengths that help you gather and use knowledge’. 
VIA Institute on Character
The last two strengths grouped under the virtue of wisdom are judgment and perspective.
 
4. Judgment: “is critical thinking, weighing evidence fairly, thinking things through, and examining the evidence from all sides rather than jumping to conclusions.”  This is the ability to take a 360° view of a situation to scan for details and finer nuances that leads to sound decision making.  It is about engaging in out of the box thinking and looking for alternatives before arriving at a solution.  It is about unbiased approaches that allow for previously untapped resources to surface, instead of staying stuck in habitual patterns.  It is about being flexible to hearing others’ viewpoints to shift out of one’s narrow myopic vision. Good judgment is about remaining non-judgmental! Staying open to both old and new information is the hallmark feature of this strength. 

Continue reading “Your Point of View”

The Virtue of Wisdom

‘Wisdom describes strengths that help you gather and use knowledge’. 
VIA Institute on Character
The strengths grouped in this virtue are creativity, curiosity, love of learning, judgment, and perspective.
 
1. Creativity: “is thinking of new ways to do things.”  You use both imagination and experience.  It requires courage, risk taking and willingness to be vulnerable.  You generate ideas which could lead to innovations, build relationships, business ventures, marketing strategies, leadership growth and best of all personal satisfaction and happiness.

Continue reading “A Word to the Wise”

The Virtue of Transcendence III

Transcendence ‘describes strengths that help you connect to the larger universe and provide meaning’.  Let us look at the last strength grouped under the category of spiritual well-being: Spirituality. 

5. Spirituality

“It involves the belief that there is a dimension to life that is beyond human understanding.”  Indeed, there is a commonality the world over: a sincere effort to open one’s mind, heart and soul to the concept, to understand it within the context of one’s culture, and finally to embrace its magnitude and its mysticism.   Divinity or Nature or the Universe are all concepts grander than us and beyond our full grasp. They mystify, enchant and call us.   

Continue reading “That which Elevates Us”

The Virtue of Transcendence II

Imagine you have the power to go over and beyond your present state, past your current limits.  How intriguing is that?!  Transcendence does just that.

Transcendence ‘describes strengths that help you connect to the larger universe and provide meaning’.  The next two strengths grouped under the category of spiritual well-being are: Hope and Humor. 

Continue reading “It Draws Us Out”

Being transported into a state of other worldliness, or finding the Divine in everyday situations is an ultimate state of grace that draws us out of our mundane existence and for a moment in time we are lifted to another realm.  The Virtue of Transcendence is rare and magnificent to behold.  Yet it is not out of our reach. 
 
Transcendence ‘describes strengths that help you connect to the larger universe and provide meaning’,  VIA Institute on Character.  The five strengths grouped under this category of spiritual well-being are: Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence, Gratitude, Hope, Humor, and Spirituality.  These are earthly, attainable strengths we can readily cultivate. 
 

Continue reading “Beyond You or Me”