Humanity sounds massive, bigger than life, and almost impossible to comprehend. I recently watched a 60 Minutes segment aired on CBS, ‘Who betrayed Anne Frank and her family?’ The investigation revealed a deeply disturbing finding. However Rabbi Sebbag talks about the findings serving the greater good. “I hope that people will understand that one of the things that the Nazi ideology did during the Holocaust was to dehumanize Jewish people ….. And going back into history and ……. attaining the truth is actually giving the Jewish people back their own humanity”. Even if that truth alarms and hurts, it is humanizing the situation, making the way we view it more considerate, compassionate, and empathetic even in the worst of conditions.
Humanity ‘describes strengths that manifest in caring relationships with others’. The three character strengths grouped under this category of social wellbeing are Kindness, Love, and Social Intelligence.
1. Kindness is being nice to others out of a deep concern for their welfare and without any expectations in return. It begs a certain selflessness. It goes beyond a simple gesture that is half-heartedly offered where neither the recipient nor the giver feel truly gratified, such as a traditional gift exchange at the office holiday party. Kindness is about being benevolent whole heartedly where the genuineness of your thoughtfulness shines through, such as holding up traffic for a stranger in a wheelchair crossing the road. Random acts of kindness through the day build a wide repertoire of strengths.
VIA Institute on Character mentions 3 traits that are essential: empathy, moral reasoning and social responsibility.
2. Love is the value placed on close relationships with people and the way you express your closeness both in receiving and offering love. There are so many variations of love that it is hard to set them apart except for some common denominators: it feels good, it radiates warmth, and it is healing. It generates tolerance, empathy and forgiveness. This leads to longer lasting relationships.
Attachment Love is seen in a parent’s protective instinct towards a child, or a child’s natural gravitation towards the parent.
Companionate Love is seen in a deep, genuine friendship between two or more people, often with peers, where the bonds seem unbreakable.
Compassionate Love is seen in a casual encounter with an acquaintance or stranger through an act of altruism.
Romantic Love is seen in an adoring relationship with a partner, significant other or spouse that leads to contentment.
Love has so many hues and shades, as an emotion it can be both deeply gratifying to the core and wildly bursting at the seams!
George Vaillant, M.D. who studied adult development, says “Let me lay out 70 years of evidence that our relationships with other people matter, and matter more than anything else in the world….. Yes, I stand by my words: Happiness equals love – full stop.” It doesn’t get more powerful than that.
3. Social Intelligence is understanding your own thoughts, feelings and motives, and being sensitive to others’ emotions and drives as well. It does not stop there. It goes beyond awareness and observing verbal and nonverbal cues of others, to knowing what to do, how to respond and act in any given situation, whether celebrating, grieving, or chatting over a cup of coffee. It is gratifying personally, improves physical and mental health and it spreads happiness. It has always been recognized as an essential strength when interacting with others in familial or social settings. Now, it is finally being recognized as a critical skill to develop in the workplace as well to promote productivity, efficiency and success. It spans all settings anywhere. It has arrived!
In the words of Christopher Peterson, “Other people matter”!