Positive Psychology identifies five character strengths that are most related to happiness:
ZEST | CURIOSITY | HOPE| GRATITUDE | LOVE
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie, author.
It was an incredible journey on the Danube River Cruise this past spring. As a local guide in Nuremberg, Germany regaled us with stories of the Nazi party rallies at Zeppelin Field a chill rippled up my spine. As I heard her narration being delivered in a guarded, neutral voice I was puzzled at first. Then I began to marvel at her mastery of both history and her own emotions. Later, I walked up to her and expressed gratitude for doing a thankless job of keeping history alive so that it is never repeated again. Her eyes lit up visibly as understanding dawned of the acknowledgement. She was moved. It felt good. Expressing gratitude made me feel better. That is the charm of this exquisite character strength. It is both giving and receiving. When a child on the playground first learns to say ‘thank you’ to his playmate for sharing the swing, notice how both faces beam with joy. Gratitude has an uncanny boomerang effect!
Gratitude exercises were part and parcel of University of Michigan, psychology professor, Chris Petersen’s class on positive psychology. Creating a gratitude list every day is a good start. Caution needs to be used in not saying by rote the same things you are thankful for. That would only wane into becoming mindless and meaningless. We want to think of new things / people to be grateful for, so that we stay mindful. Be committed by keeping a gratitude journal. You will find yourself infused with optimism every week. Writing a gratitude letter to a person for something specific is the next level of deepening our character strength. By highlighting the other person’s good qualities, research proves we derive mood elation ourselves. It needs to be sincere and heartfelt. It has to impact the other person. Finally, make a gratitude visit. Meet the person you wish to thank for his/her kindness and tell him/her in person. Sometimes people will substitute this with a gratitude phone call. It works fairly well. Though in my opinion, there is no substitute for face to face interaction. Facial expression, body language, tone of voice, eye contact and physical touch heighten the quality of this rich experience. Try it. You will be so delighted; you will want to practice it increasingly.
Robert Emmons, professor of psychology, UC Davis has authored, ‘Thanks! How pra
cticing gratitude can make you happier’. His scientific research claims ‘regular grateful thinking can increase happiness by as much as 25 percent’. He says, “Gratitude heals, energizes, and transforms lives.” This sounds more like an elixir or a magic potion. And the wonder of it is that it does not come in a bottle. It comes from within us. We have an unending supply of it. Let us exercise our ability to recognize, acknowledge and appreciate. ~ Sushama Kirtikar, October 2014.