“With neurons firing 5 to 50 times a second you can build resilience and wellbeing several times a day.” It is called working the brain muscle.
Rick Hanson with his son Forrest Hanson describes 4 ways to meet our needs of wellbeing in his book ‘Resilient’.
Recognizing | Resourcing | Regulating | Relating
It does not matter how successful, accomplished, or adept you are. You have to lay a strong mental foundation to build a sturdy structure that will withstand the jolts of life. Begin by laying bricks of self-acknowledgement first.
Step 1: Recognizing
- Compassion:
Consideration for others comes easier than compassion towards oneself. Self-criticism tears you down. Self-respect builds you up. Accept yourself faults and all, then send compassion your way. This is not complacence; it is the start to desired change. An occasional flash of self-love is but fleeting. Reinforce it through the day. It is removed from conceit. It is natural, warm and calming. It is your core truth, “I am worth it”. Becoming a better friend to yourself brings out your best. “Commit to your own wellbeing.” It is the first brick of resilience. - Mindfulness:
Staying in the present moment is shown to “lower stress, protect health and lift mood.” What you pay attention to changes neural connections. Cursory notice brushes it aside as a transient experience. Focus on the experience long enough to integrate it as a lasting memory into your brain. Regulate your attention to the present moment without judgement. Be open and receptive, without flitting to the past or future. Be in the here and now. Then identify your needs and wants. Rest your mind on your inner resources to meet those needs. If you react mindlessly, it generates fear, hurt and rejection. If you respond mindfully, it promotes peace, contentment and love. “The responsive mode is our home base.” These are building blocks of resilience. - Learning:
“1/3 of our attributes are innate; 2/3 are acquired through learning.” Your inner strengths can be developed through learning. First, you identify them, then activate and install them. Consolidating them with practice over time makes “passing states become lasting traits”. It causes neurons to fire in synchrony leading to new neural connections in the brain. Thoughts, beliefs, emotions, desires and actions are the elements of an experience. Attend to every aspect (positive or negative) and integrate them into the fabric of your reality. Experience dependent neuroplasticity allows you to capitalize on past experiences to pull up on any of the five elements and reinforce them. You are learning self-reliance. This is the foundation of resilience.
Upcoming bulletins will cover the other three steps. Begin laying your bricks!